Archive Page 2
dreams: walking to McDonalds
I remember my dreams a lot, so I’m going to try to blog them. Maybe a dream expert will come along and tell me what’s up.
What I remember: I was walking to McD’s. Instead of looking through the POV of first person, I was looking down at myself, like in video games (this may be because I was playing Fable II before bed).
I’m running through the woods, on path after path, and I finally see McDonalds. It’s in a field, near a housing development. I walk toward it and there are two cute black ladies walking there as well. They’re adorable, but I’m really freaking hungry.
This is the nicest McD’s I’ve ever been in. You have to walk through one set of doors and then up (or down, I don’t remember) an escalator to get to the counter. I’m relieved.
Things that may or may not have happened: Some interaction with a homeless kid? Something more about the housing development?
I think it really boils down to me playing too much Fable before bed. Decipher at will.
Filed under: Life | 2 Comments
Tags: dreams
I miss…
being near the ocean
being near the woods
getting my feet wet
the excitement of learning something new
the kind of night that flies by way too fast
making egg rolls with my family
getting dragged out to the bar by my roommate
the smell of orange blossoms
Chinese food that never disappoints
BBQ
snuggling close to The Boy, even when I’m hot
knowing that someone has my back
talking to strangers, and having a good reason for it
the camaraderie of a newsroom
making fun of whatever the Mayor’s doing now, or even knowing what it is that he’s doing
whispers he thinks I don’t hear
Filed under: Life | Leave a Comment
Tags: Life
on being in the spotlight
If someone ever asks me if I want to be famous, I usually reply that I’d like to be famous enough for people to know my name, but not famous enough for people to know my face.
In truth, I have no idea. In college, my senior year, I took a independent study to make my last semester easier and to also take on a project on diversity that I’d been wanting to do.
I worked hard and no-so-hard, depending on the day. The last two months we hammered something out that made me happy, but not overjoyed. I had wanted to leave a legacy. I have no idea where that document is now. I’m pretty sure no one ever read it.
That’s one time out of a million where I decided to do something and it failed. Usually when I try to do something amazing. Apparently, I’m better at mediocre work than amazing things.
That’s a very sad truth about my life and I’m not trying to be modest.
So when someone asks me if i want to be famous, the real answer is that I know it’s probably not going to happen. That’s fine, not everyone can be famous, right? Not everyone has a legacy to leave behind.
However, it’s pretty disheartening to think that and wonder just what I’m doing with my life then. We can get into theology here, but suffice it to say that I’m not entirely convinced my soul is going anywhere beyond this.
So we’re back to: What am I doing here? The question I end up posing more often than not.
A while back we decided we needed some help in an area I’m not all that familiar with and being the person I am, I tried to help out some acquaintances. It didn’t work out. Not because they weren’t qualified, but more because we’re a start-up and we have a grand goal and the details can get kind of muggy. The part I feel worst about is that no one ever really told these perfectly talented people that we ended up hiring no one. These perfectly talented people are — of course — not too happy with me.
I still feel guilty about that and God knows how many other things we’ve done wrong. I have never been in charge. I’m groping in the dark sometimes here.
I try to live my life without regrets, but in this case, trying to do something awesome, yet again, bites me in the ass.
So, I tell myself, that mistakes must be made and sooner or later I’ll get it right. Sometimes, I believe myself. Most of the time, I wonder why I try.
I’m not looking for any sympathy here, just airing my thoughts on futility.
Filed under: Life | 1 Comment
Googlicious
So I made my Google Profile…
Now what?
(I’m intending to ramble more in this space. I swear. Everyone loves my rambling.)
Filed under: nerdiness | 3 Comments
Tags: google, technology
on being a bookworm
I was walking out of the library after a rough day at work.
I thought, “I love books. They talk to me, teach me, help me escape. And they never fail me. They may not be as good as I hope, but they’re there for me.”
I stopped when i finished that thought.
Every Sunday when I was younger, I went to the library with my father. He read, i amassed a gigantic pile of books that I would absorb in minutes. It was exciting.
I’ve always used books to escape. You travel through land, space and time in books. You find yourself in characters. You find lovers, friends and enemies.
I love books.
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Tags: books, library
my eyes!
I spend way too much time on the computer.
I just put my 30th dose of eyedrops in my eyes today and…it’s done nothing. I’m assuming that these eyedrops are actually dissolving my contacts, this explaining why brand new contacts are already bothering me.
I need LASIK.
Or new eyes.
Filed under: Life | Leave a Comment
Tags: contacts, eyes, whining
ordering pizza
So, since I’ve left college, i’ve gained something like 20 pounds. For an once-incredibly fit person, that’s pretty sad.
So I’ve been working at fixing that. I use Jilian Michaels’ 30-day shred. (Click on the image below to buy the DVD and feed me.)
It’s a really good DVD, but I’m not talking about products here.
I’m more thinking about where I went wrong. I love food. My mom is a chef. We are a foodie family. And my parents, growing up in a war-torn country, did not waste. I was one of those kids that sat at the dinner table until 9 pm because I couldn’t finish my dinner.
That’s translated into overeating and emotional eating as an adult. At the moment, I’m waiting on a pizza.
However, I’m learning to make better choices. Instead of a sausage and onion pizza, I got grilled chicken and jalepenos on a thin crust.
Slowly.
I promise this won’t turn into a diet blog. Promise.
Filed under: food | 1 Comment
Tags: dieting, food
I live here
I went on a hike today, in my ever long efforts to be fit and perchance lose some weight.
The trail, Fryman Canyon, isn’t far from my house. I’m not sure how I missed it before.
You know when you move to a new city, there is a moment when you realize this might, just maybe be home? Walking up that gigantic hill with Hollywood moms, people in “the industry” and others,
I live here. In this ridiculous city.
I live here.
Filed under: Life | 2 Comments
Tags: LA, Life
divide and conquer
I am, like everyone else I know, terribly saddened by the election.
No, I’m very happy that Obama won, but Proposition 8, the gay marriage deal, passed. My gay friends aren’t legally married anymore. It’s ridiculous.
I’m angry. I’m more angry by the response than the election itself, actually, now that I think about it. OK, so some CNN poll said 70% of black people voted for Prop 8, due largely to the Black Church. That’s dissappointing, yes.
Additionally dissappointing are the commetns by Dan Savage and the like, that are blaming black people.
Let’s jsut get this out there:
The black community is homophobic.
The gay community is racist.
Prop. 8 lost.
I do think it’s insane that people who know what discrimination is like voted for what is basically, discrimination. I also think it’s insane that gays at rallies around LA are shouting racist, bigoted words and shunning black gays. What in the hell happened to fighting the fight together?
I hate divisiveness. If you are black, white, man, woman, asian, latino, gay, straight, transgender, indian or whatever, you are fighting the same fight. Why can’t we be fighting against hate in general? Yes, traditionally it may be easier to be a white, striaght man. But it’s also harder to get scholarships and such, since most of those are aimed at minorities of some sort. Everyone has seen hate. You are living in a bubble if you think your kind, whatever kind, is better than anyone else.
I’m angry that these ridiculous tactics to divide people fighting for equal rights are working. If I turned colors, I would turn red when I heard someone say gays are racist or blacks are homophobic. Stop complaining. Start educating. Whining about how hard it is for you will not get shit done. Going out the door and talking to a person about what you have seen is doing something. Stop blaming other people for your troubles. Forgive them. Be a good Christian/Muslim/Jew/Athiest. Be a good person.
Agreed?
Filed under: news | Leave a Comment
Tags: gay marriage, hate, prop 8
